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Rotten to the Core: Why We Don’t Fuck With Apple

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There’s always someone who can’t believe it. “Wait, you don’t have FaceTime?” No. We don’t have FaceTime. We don’t use iPhones. We don’t touch MacBooks. We don’t buy Beats, iPads, or AirTags. We don’t play with Apple anything. Not because we’re broke. Because we’re not dumb enough to pay premium prices to support a morally bankrupt tech empire that exploits workers, polices creativity, and sells you overpriced trash in a pretty box. This isn’t anti-tech snobbery. It’s moral clarity. Because Apple isn’t just another shady company. It’s a top-tier offender , and it has been for years. Child Labor, Sweatshops, and Lies Let’s start with the factories. Apple loves flashing that “Designed in California” badge like it means something pure. But the iPhone in your hand was built in a Chinese sweatshop , likely by a contractor like Foxconn or Pegatron. And those facilities have a history that’s not just grim, it’s criminal. In 2020, Apple cut ties with Pegatron after the company was caugh...
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Prolly Gonna Snap: A Field Guide to Dipshit Words Destroying the Language

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  W e’re living in a time where words don’t mean anything anymore. The English language has been gutted, hollowed out, and left twitching in a ditch while morons clap like seals at TikTok slang that makes them feel “edgy.” It’s not edgy. It’s linguistic rot, and it’s spreading faster than herpes at spring break. “Prolly.” That’s where I snap. The word is “probably.” Seven letters, three syllables, and a shred of dignity. But no, some genius had to shave it down like they’re on a life-saving mission to reclaim two seconds. You aren’t saving time. You’re advertising brain rot. Every time you type “prolly,” you’re telling the world, I’ve surrendered to my own stupidity. “Today years old.” Every time someone types that, I lose another strand of hope for humanity. You’re not clever, you’re not relatable, you’re broadcasting that you just discovered the sky is blue and expect the rest of us to throw you a fucking parade. “Latinx.” Nothing says cultural sensitivity like a word th...
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Common Sense Is Dead, and So Are Empathy and Intelligence

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S omewhere along the way, the country ran out of common sense and replaced it with TikTok takes and bumper sticker politics. Compassion packed its bags. Intelligence threw itself into a woodchipper. And all we’re left with now is a population of self-obsessed jackals gnawing on the last nerve of anyone who still thinks decency matters. People used to disagree and still sit at the same table. Now they fling conspiracy theories like hot grease and call it conversation. The loudest voices belong to the least informed, and the ones who actually know something are too exhausted to argue. You can have ten degrees and be ignored while a YouTuber with a ring light and half a brain screams about lizard people and gets booked on a morning show. We’ve glamorized ignorance. Celebrated stupidity. Put clowns in office and called it a movement. Politicians openly lie on camera, and instead of holding them accountable, we get think pieces about their “media strategy.” Strategy? These freaks couldn...
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The Cult of the Influencer: Where Narcissism Goes to Monetize

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                         T his isn’t a job. It’s a cult. Built on ring lights, weaponized selfies, and the dumb luck of going viral during a nervous breakdown. These people aren’t famous for doing anything—they’re famous for being seen . Like ornamental parasites with a phone plan and no shame. We used to lock this shit up. “Oversharing” used to get you unfollowed in real life. Now it gets you sponsorship deals from meal kits and lube brands. Call it what it is— rampant narcissism with a login . And somehow, we’re supposed to care. Some kid trashes a $200K sports car for laughs while millions of people can’t even afford an Uber to their third job. The car isn’t the punchline—we are. Meanwhile, some coked-up man-child is flinging wads of cash at strangers to do humiliating shit for clicks. He’s not a content creator. He’s a digital pimp with a god complex. But hey, he bought his mom a house, so it's all good, right? The...
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The Great New Year’s Resolution Hoax: Bullshit Goals for Bullshit Times

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                 Have you ever met someone who’s kept all their New Year’s resolutions? Of course not. That person doesn’t exist. The only people sticking to resolutions are fictional characters in Hallmark movies, and even they’d break if you put them in a room with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Resolutions are like flaming bags of dog crap we leave on our own doorsteps—predictable, pointless, and stinking of failure. And yet, every December 31st, we play along. We pour champagne, kiss someone questionable with a cold sore at midnight, and make promises to ourselves that are as fleeting as our buzz. “I’ll lose weight! I’ll quit drinking! I’ll finally learn French!” Sure, Jan. By the third week of January, the gym membership is canceled, the wine rack is restocked, and you’ve convinced yourself that you’re fluent because you can say, “Bonjour, je vais totalement changer ma vie cette année.” (English translation: “Hello, I’m totally going to c...
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Customer Disservice: A Tribute to Retail Workers and the Assholes Who Torment Them

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  L et’s get one thing straight: retail workers are the real MVPs of modern society. They’re the ones keeping the wheels of commerce turning while enduring an endless parade of humanity’s worst offenders. And during the holiday season? The assholery hits an all-time high. From entitled jerks to full-blown psychopaths, the retail floor becomes a war zone, with workers facing an onslaught of coupon clingers, fitting room squatters, and loudmouth Karens. The holidays bring out the worst in people. That festive cheer you hear? It’s a facade, masking the rage of shoppers fighting over the last half-off air fryer. And the poor souls working retail? They’re stuck in the trenches, dodging tantrums, sweat monsters, and the occasional Bathroom Bandit. We haven’t even scratched the surface. There’s probably an entire book that could be written on the topic, but for now, let’s break down some of the worst offenders in this season of “joy.” The "Too Good for Hello" Assholes You know the t...
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Why Your Cat Secretly Hates You: An Exposé

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  L et’s cut the crap: your cat doesn’t love you. They’re not your friend, your emotional support animal, or the “fur baby” you embarrassingly call them on Instagram. They’re a tyrant in a fluffy coat, ruling your life from a throne made of shredded couch cushions. Every slow blink, every dismissive tail flick—it’s not affection. It’s condescension. We’ve hacked into the feline hive mind, and what we found is horrifying: your cat  hates  you. They’ve been tolerating your nonsense for far too long, and frankly, they’ve had enough. “Why the Hell Are You Making That Kissing Noise?” What do you think that’s going to accomplish? You expect me to come over like some slobbering dog? Get real. You look ridiculous, puckering your lips and making that  “psst-psst”  sound. If anything, I’m moving further away just to spite you. Do you want me to come over? Try shaking the treat bag. But don’t hold your breath—I’ll ignore you anyway because I  can . “You Leave My Litte...
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