Let’s Cut the Crap: Journalism’s in the Toilet, and We’re Flushing It

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Modern journalism isn’t just circling the drain—it’s stuck in the bowl, swirling in its own mess while the media live-tweets the skid marks. Remember when reporters broke real stories, exposed corruption, and rattled the powerful? Now they’re chasing headlines about Oreos and crying over Guy Fieri’s dog.

Steve Irwin, the so-called Crocodile Hunter, was basically a Florida Man with a passport. Let’s not romanticize it. This guy spent his life poking things that could kill him, and guess what? One of them did. Surprise! Fast-forward to today, and his kids—let’s call them Croc Jr. and Gator Girl—are racking up headlines for existing. Bindi buys Oreos? That’s news, apparently. Meanwhile, her brother Robert posts a picture of a lizard on Instagram, and suddenly the world’s acting like he’s cured cancer.

This isn’t journalism; it’s a participation trophy handed out for the genetic lottery. Meanwhile, actual issues are out there being ignored because nobody clicks on “World Hunger Still a Thing.”

And then we have Guy Fieri, the human embodiment of a midlife crisis, whose entire brand is built on frosted tips and greasy nachos. Parade magazine actually ran a headline about him losing his dog. Look, losing a pet sucks, but come on. This is the kind of thing you post on Facebook for your weird aunt to comment “thoughts and prayers” on—not something you slap on the front page like it’s breaking news.

But who’s to blame for this nonsense? Spoiler: It’s us. Yeah, you. The people clicking on headlines about Bindi’s grocery runs and Guy Fieri’s grief are the same people who think “fake news” is the problem. No, Karen, the problem is that you’re refreshing your feed for updates on a celebrity pet obituary while the world’s literally on fire.

The worst part is that some poor journalists had to write these stories. Do you think they got into this game to write about lizards and Oreo runs? Hell no. They probably dreamed of exposing corruption or taking down corporate greed. Now they’re stuck spinning clickbait for a paycheck because that’s what gets clicks. Journalism isn’t dead; it’s being waterboarded by your browser history.

And it’s not getting better anytime soon. As long as we keep treating fluff like filet mignon, the media will keep shoveling it at us. It’s a feedback loop of idiocy, and everyone’s complicit.

But not here. Not at Uncivil Truth. We’re here to flush the fluff, call out the nonsense, and ask the hard questions—like why the hell we care about any of this in the first place.

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